


no other sadness in the world would do

by tendermoon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, NaruHina 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27752146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tendermoon/pseuds/tendermoon
Summary: "What if I never get better?"
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 5
Kudos: 73
Collections: NaruHina2020





	no other sadness in the world would do

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the movie 50 first dates but I made it angst.  
> They have technology in this fic just like in Boruto, but this is actually set on the blank period (I think they already had cellphones by that time, right?)

"Hinata! I'm home!" He announced as soon as he opened the door, bending down to take his shoes and enter their apartment.

Theirs, and it felt so right and nice to call it that. He never got to share a home with someone. He never got to have another constant presence, not even Iruka sensei could stay that long and be a part of every single detail in their space.

He lived alone his whole life, so he knew how to manage. He wasn't a great cook, he hated cleaning and washing clothes, but he also didn't like having to wear the same shirt twice in a week and he didn't have that much clothes to being with. He hated cleaning and he didn't do it right, he would learn later, but he hated having spiderwebs and insects in his apartment even more.

He never had a place to lay down and feel good, safe, happy. He had a place to survive in, to rest his bones and contemplate in an age to young about his value. A lot of people used to comfort him saying "at least you had a house, food, education". And it was cruel to make him feel selfish, make him feel shallow, when every kid deserved what he didn't have. He should be grateful but he also should be mad. He repressed so much anger that he could barely feel it now.

But it didn't matter, though. He had something special, more than his ramen cups and the cool card games he could afford once in a while.

He had a home.

Hinata.

"Hi, darling." She approached him, rubbing her eyes, suppressing a yawn. She looked so cute, so tired.

Today was one of the good days. Where everything was where it was to be. He longed for these days and prayed at night so it wouldn't leave. Days like these weren't a constant. His love was, regardless.

"Hey, sweetheart." He hugged her tight, a little too tight, lifting her up a little. Her laughter vibrated through his whole body.

He could cry.

[...]

He was up earlier than usual, whistling in the kitchen while he made breakfast. He had finally returned from his one week long mission. Nowadays he didn't accept a lot of missions, and when he did they were short. Two or three days. 

Kakashi was worried about him. Both his future as hokage and his mental instability. Naruto didn't had much time to think about either. 

Hinata had stayed with her father and sister while he was gone. When he came back she gave him a kiss, hugged him and fell sleep in his arms. 

Everything was fine, as long as they could be like this. 

_For how long?_

He heard the noise of the door opening and he turned back to a pair of big, scared lilac eyes staring at him.

_Oh, no. Please._

"W-Where am I?" Her voice cracked, her fingers fidgeting. A nostalgic picture that felt too bittersweet for Naruto to even think too much about. 

He hated the days like these.

"This is your house, Hinata." He sighed, putting the plate in the sink. 

She followed his movements with her eyes, not only scared, but measuring his movements, waiting for an attack. Like the good ninja she was. 

"Who are you?" 

_The worst of days, the worst of feelings_.

"I'm Naruto." _You know me since I was a child. You loved me since forever. Before I deserved. You love me now. I'm your husband. I love you back._

"I don't know you. I have to go." She crossed the room, walking fast, trying to reach the door. 

Naruto moved impulsively; because she was only wearing his shirt, because she was obviously shaken, because he didn't want her to go.

Before he could reach her, he felt her fist in his stomach. His body contracted and he stepped back, hands holding his midsection, trying to suck air into his lungs. 

She never hurt him before, intentionally. 

_She doesn't know you._

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She was at his side, her hands so close to touching him, but purposely avoiding. "I didn't mean...You tried to stop me. I'm so confused. I'm so sorry. I must have drank yesterday...My head hurts so much..."

 _The worst of days came with the symptoms_.

"It's okay." It wasn't, but he believed in words. "Do you...do you want me to explain? Or I can just take you to your father's house if you want." 

She was fidgeting again, averting her eyes. She was so close to a breakdown. Her mind was probably a puzzle full of missing pieces. 

He hated how she stood. Hinata was only like that when she was terrified. He knew she was confused and that her head was hurting and that her body was probably burning in a fever right now, but part of her fear was of him.

He felt sick.

"You have a tape...You made for yourself. For when you don't remember." Her eyes met his, making his heart ache. There it was; her trusting eyes, her hopeful demeanor. She wanted to trust him. She was careful and resisted though, no matter how much of a willing heart she had, she was a kunoichi first. 

"I can leave and you can watch it. I can leave the keys with you." He reached for his back pocket, finding his key. He got a little closer and handed it to her.

"You can stay." She was looking at him with more curiosity, less fear.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Okay."

[...]

He never knew what to do after they - sometimes just her - watched the tape. He had memorized all the words. 

A lot of times she cried, but today she remained frozen in the couch, hugging her legs. When her past self brought up the mission, the one where she was captured and tortured and poisoned, she didn't even flinch. When her memory loss was mentioned she just raised her brows. When they said she could remember everything one day and forget even her name in other, she just blinked.

When she heard Naruto's name, she flinched. 

Her own voice saying: _Try to remember your husband, he's a little bit of a cry baby. Make sure you hug him if you forget. Don't worry about it, you will remember him eventually. He's hard to forget. But he's easy to love._

Now they were sitting in the floor together, looking through some pictures to see the faces she could remember. It was long after midnight, her head wasn't hurting anymore thanks to the medicine. She took a bath and changed her clothes, her head in a bun and her cheeks pink. Naruto could almost pretend it was one of the good days.

"This is Neji." She said a bit too loud, looking alarmed but proud for remembering. Naruto smiled a little, trying to suppress the hurt.

"He's your cousin." 

"I remember him. I remember him dying." She frowned, blinking too fast. She put the book down. 

"Hinata..."

"Can you answer some questions for me?" She raised her head, no evidence of her previous vulnerability.

"Of course, bab- Hinata. Yes." He straightened his back, feeling uncomfortable.

"How long was the longest time I went without memory?" 

"Eleven days." He remembered it all too well. 

"What did I do?"

"You stayed with your friend, Tenten. She was the only person you remembered outside of your family. But you were too scared of your family, for some reason. You also thought Neji was alive." He clenched his jaw. He didn't like thinking about that time.

"How long was the longest time I maintained my memory?" She questioned again.

"Two months and three days." 

_Good days. Now just a bittersweet memory of the hope he had being crushed in the morning she woke up crying._

"I can still get better." Her affirmation sounded more like a question, so he nodded. 

"Tsunade says they're still studying the poison. They've never seen nothing like this before so it takes time. The whole team that went with you have the same issue." He knew she would get better eventually. He trusted granny, he trusted his wife. 

"What if...What if I never get better?" 

His heart sunk.

He trusted her. He trusted Tsunade. He trusted his own will of fire, his own determination of making things work. He moved heaven and hell before and he would continue doing it every day. He would do anything for her, but he needed her to do anything for her, too.

"That's not an option." He answered, baring the pain in his chest. 

She clucked, her cheeks getting darker, her head shaking. 

"You're a very brave man if you're still married to a woman who wakes up not knowing who you are sometimes." She said it like a joke but the smile was fake and it wasn't really funny to either of them.

"I'm not anything." He rested his head against the sofa, his hands agaisnt the cold floor. "I just love you."

He didn't look at her. 

He looked forward, out of the window. The dark blue sky full of stars, no clouds. She loved to watch the stars while she ate some midnight snack. She probably doesn't remember that, too.

He feels her head falling to his shoulder and he's melting, weak and stunned, feeling his fingertips burning. His blood pressure dropping, his lids shaking. 

"I was right." She drew closer to him. "You're easy to love."

He bit the inside of his cheeks. He tried to blink the tears away, counting the stars, marvelling the feeling of her head against him.

"I hope I remember you tomorrow."


End file.
